Do you ever feel like you’re the only married person in the room out of sync with your partner? In marriage, it can be difficult to get on the same page whether about money, goals, or even what to eat for dinner. Handling money in marriage might sound simple (dual incomes and all) but the reality is often complex and stressful.
The real questions when it comes to money and marriage are:
- What are our pictures for our life, money, and marriage?
- Are we on the same page with our pictures?
- How can we work together to make our shared picture a reality?
To start laying the foundation for mastering money in your marriage, ask these questions to each other on your next ‘Budget Date.’
Before we dive in, make sure you download the Free Financial Checklist + Guide to get started on your journey toward improved financial wellness. This step-by-step guide includes a financial wellness checklist along with budgeting and finance templates perfect for anyone looking to get their finances under control!
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Q1: What are our pictures for our life, money, and marriage?
It’s no surprise that money can be a touchy subject in any relationship, especially for young married couples and newlyweds. It’s not just about dollars and cents—it’s about values, dreams, and the future you picture building together. Getting on the same page about money in your marriage is crucial for achieving your financial goals. Money marriage alignment ensures long-term harmony and happiness in your relationship.
Q2: Are we on the same page with our pictures?
When working to get on the same page about money in your marriage, we have a lot of tools at our disposal. However, when you’re in a relationship, you’re not a one-woman (or man) show. Both partners need to work together to bring their shared vision to reality. Not only does your partner need to understand your picture, but you need to understand theirs as well. Building a shared vision provides a map to building your lives together.
Q3: How can we work together to make our shared picture a reality?
Here are five essential steps to master money in your marriage. Use them to work should the process of brining your picture for your future to life. By taking these steps, you’ll align your financial goals with your spouse to strengthen your relationship and improve your financial wellness.
Money & Marriage Step 1: Start with a Shared Vision
Before diving into the numbers, it’s important to have an open conversation about your individual and shared dreams. What do you want to achieve? Whether buying a home, starting a family, or traveling the world, understanding each other’s long-term goals will help you create a shared vision. This vision will serve as the foundation for your financial decisions. It will also ensure that you’re both working toward the same goals.
Money Marriage Example
Consider Jake and Annie’s situation. Jake came from a ‘traditional’ family where mom stayed home to raise the kids and manage the house. His dad worked outside of the home and was solely responsible for paying the bills. Jake assumed when he and Annie had their first child, she would stay home just like his mom did. He foresaw needing to be able to cover all of their bills on his income alone during those years.
Annie, however, had graduated from nursing school and was working hard to pay off her student loans. They had finished paying for their wedding and life was starting to settle down. She knew she wanted to start talking about having a baby soon. However, Annie wanted to be in a position financially where she could work part-time with no loans to worry about. She wanted to have the flexibility in their budget and schedule to raise a family but didn’t want to step away from her career completely.
Jake and Annie ended up getting in a huge argument because Jake was working so much. She didn’t understand why he was so insistent on working long hours and picking up all the extra work he could. Jake was frustrated because he felt like no matter what he did, Annie wasn’t happy with him.
It turns out, they just had slightly different pictures in their minds of what the next few years would look like. Jake saw himself working long hard hours to be able to provide for his family. Annie saw spending her first year of marriage going on lots of dates and enjoying each other’s company before they started having kids. Neither vision was wrong, but because they weren’t on the same page, there was friction.
Step 2: Understand Your Money in Marriage Personalities
Everyone has a unique approach to money. Understanding both your partners as well as your money personality can help you anticipate potential conflicts and find ways to balance your financial approach. Take some time to discuss your financial habits, strengths, and weaknesses. By acknowledging these differences, you can create a plan that plays to both of your strengths while addressing any potential challenges.
TAKE THE MONEY PERSONALITY ASSESSMENT >> HERE
Money Personality Example
Sara went to law school and was an expert at two things: research and persuasion. She liked to take informed precise action and rarely went into any situation without a plan. However, she had always had a big payoff for taking a risk. She didn’t mind taking a gamble when it came to making an educated guess or assumption and that had given her an edge in her career and in life.
Sara’s mindset led her to buy an expensive condo that she was paying through the nose for. She knew that the area was only getting more popular and believed that regardless of the cost, the condo would be an investment that would pay off down the road. While Sara may end up correct, her personality of being a bit of a risk taker caused her to be what can be known as ‘cash-poor.’ While she owned a valuable piece of real estate, she had very little savings compared to her expenses.
Once Sara understood that her nature told her to take risks and seek out massive ROI (return on investment), she needed to implement some checks and balances in her spending plans that made room for more security. As it turns out, Sara ended up falling in love and getting engaged to a teacher named Matt. Matt was a history teacher and his money personality was much more conservative than Sara’s. Where Sara values prestige and performance when it comes to money, Matt prefers security and stability. By learning about each other’s money personalities and motivations, Matt and Sara can learn to create balance and harmony making their lives together even more fulfilling and dynamic than before they became a couple.
Step 3: Set Clear and Realistic Financial Goals
Once you’ve established a shared vision and understand your money personalities, it’s time to set specific financial goals. These goals should be realistic, measurable, and time-bound. Whether it’s paying off debt, saving for a vacation, or building an emergency fund, having clear goals will give you direction and motivation. Make sure these goals align with your shared vision and are achievable within your financial means.
Money Marriage Example
When I see people struggling with money, it’s rarely because they don’t have enough income. Money problems often stem from a lack of clear, shared, value-based financial goals. A clear financial goal is simple and specific. When you’re in a relationship, not only must your goal be clear, but it also must be shared with your partner. In other words, you both need to be all in. Finally, goals should be value-based. When goals are value-based, they align with your deepest beliefs, desires, and vision for your future.
For example, Drew and Karly wanted to buy a home within the next 18 months. They were pre-approved to get a mortgage up to an amount that aligned with the price range of homes in the area, their down payment, and their monthly payment budget. They were in agreement that they wanted to buy a home within the next year or so more than they wanted to take a vacation, start a family, or buy a new car. Buying a home was the priority because they wanted to be able to have a place to call their own with space to entertain friends and family as well as hopefully grow their family down the road.
Imagine if Drew and Karly were not, however, in agreement about their current goal of buying a home. Imagine if Drew wanted to take a trip to Europe this year and Karly was already planning baby names and nursery designs. Their lack of alignment would then lead to a lack of focus making their goal of buying a home nearly impossible.
Step 4: Create a Joint Budget and Cash Flow Plan
A joint budget is one of the most effective tools for managing your finances as a couple. You need to know how much money is coming in and where it goes out to take control of your finances. Start by listing all sources of income and expenses, then categorize them based on categories such as the 4-F Expense Quadrants: Function, Fun, Freedom, and fulfillment. Once you know how much money is coming in, as well as how much is going out to various categories, you can create a cash flow plan. Review and adjust your cash flow plan when changes in income or spending occur. Creating a joint budget and cash flow plan will help you stay on track and ensure that both of you are contributing to your financial goals.
Ready to start cash flow planning like a pro and quit stressing over budget fails and regret? Check out Cash Flow Overhaul for simple, step by step guidence!
Money Marriage Example
Sticking to a budget can feel impossible. In fact, it’s one of the most common issues people face when it comes to managing their money. Ryan and Sam could not seem to get it together when it came to budgeting. Every month, Ryan would sit down and try to figure out what the coming month would bring when it came to expenses.
Ryan and Sam had decent incomes, but they were also trying to pay off a mountain of student loans and couldn’t seem to catch a break when it came to unexpected expenses. In addition, Sam was not totally on board when it came to the budgeting process. Every time they sat down to talk about it, she felt like she was crawling out of her skin and just wanted to move on with their day. They’d usually end up in an argument and another month would go by where their money felt like it was managing them and not the other way around.
Once Ryan and Sam learned how to cash flow plan, everything changed. They no longer had to sit down and guess what possible expenses might come up or try to cut as many costs as possible. Instead, they spent one Saturday morning assigning percentages to each of their spending categories. Then each time they got paid, they would simply transfer the preset percentage to the account that was designated for that category of spending. They each had their own personal spending accounts as well and received the same percentage of their income to spend on personal items and wants week after week. Budget stress and spending arguments became a thing of the past and they are now making consistent and sustainable progress toward their goals.
Step 5: Regular and Honest Money & Marriage Communication
Effective communication is key to maintaining financial harmony in your relationship. Set aside time for regular financial check-ins to discuss your progress, challenges, and any changes in your financial situation. Be honest about your concerns and open to compromise. By keeping the lines of communication open, you’ll be able to navigate financial decisions together and avoid misunderstandings.
Getting on the same page about money doesn’t have to be stressful. By following these steps, you can create a strong financial foundation that supports your shared vision and strengthens your relationship. Don’t wait—take action today and download your free guide to start building your financial future together.
Take Action: Download Your Free Financial Health Guide
Aligning your financial goals to master money in marriage is a powerful step toward building a strong and happy relationship. To help you on this journey, I’ve created a FREE Financial Health Checklist + Guide that includes planning templates, budgeting tools, and tips for effective communication. This guide is designed to help you and your spouse take control of your finances, achieve your goals, and build a secure future together.
Money Marriage FAQ
1. Why is it important to get on the same page about money with my spouse?
- Answer: Being on the same page about money in marriage ensures that you and your spouse are working together toward common financial goals. It helps prevent misunderstandings, reduces stress, and strengthens your relationship by fostering trust and cooperation.
2. What should we do if our financial goals are very different?
- Answer: Start by having an open conversation about your individual goals and why they matter to each of you. Look for common ground and consider creating a plan that incorporates both of your goals. Compromise and communication are key to finding a solution that works for both partners.
3. How can we create a budget that works for both of us?
- Answer: Begin by listing all your income and expenses, then categorize them based on your financial priorities. Make sure to allocate funds for shared goals like savings and debt repayment. Regularly review and adjust your budget to reflect any changes in your financial situation. Cash Flow Overhaul is a great way to learn how to budget and cash flow plan together in a way that is easy to manage. Learn more about Cash Flow Overhaul HERE.
4. What are the signs that we need to have a financial conversation?
- Answer: Common signs include frequent disagreements about spending, avoiding financial discussions, unexpected expenses causing stress, and one partner feeling uninformed about the finances. If any of these apply, it’s time for a financial conversation.
5. How often should we have financial check-ins?
- Answer: It’s a good idea to have regular financial check-ins, such as monthly or bi-weekly. These check-ins allow you to review your progress, address any concerns, and make necessary adjustments to your budget or goals.
6. What if one partner is a saver and the other is a spender?
- Answer: Understanding each other’s money personalities in marriage is key. Discuss your differences openly and find ways to balance your approaches. You might agree on a spending plan that allows for both saving and responsible spending, ensuring that both partners feel heard and respected. Get started by taking the Money Personality Quiz.
7. How can we avoid fighting about money in marriage?
- Answer: Clear communication and active listening are essential. Use “I” statements to express your feelings without blaming, and take time-outs if the conversation becomes heated. Regular financial check-ins can also help prevent issues from escalating.
8. What tools can help us manage our finances to master money in marriage together?
- Answer: Tools like budgeting apps, shared spreadsheets, and financial planning templates can help you manage your finances more effectively. Consider downloading our free Financial Health Checklist + Guide for planning templates and other resources designed for couples.
9. What should we do if we have different financial priorities?
- Answer: Acknowledge each other’s priorities and discuss why they’re important. Look for ways to accommodate both partners’ priorities within your financial plan. Compromise is crucial, and setting joint goals can help align your priorities over time.
10. How do we stay motivated to achieve our financial goals?
- Answer: Regularly review your progress and celebrate small wins along the way. Keep your shared vision in mind, and remind each other of the benefits you’ll enjoy once your goals are achieved. Accountability to each other can also help you stay on track. If you’re looking for outside accountability, you’re not alone! Get started by booking a Financial Health Check-up ✔️ and get started on your journey toward improved financial wellness.
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